Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What causes tension between liberals and conservatives? Is it purely based on ideological differences or are there other factors at play?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Apollo astronauts discovered the moon is covered in tiny orange glass beads. Now we finally know why. - Live Science

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

I can read

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink